IMPROVE YOUR MARRIAGE - Don't Overlook The Obvious
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IMPROVE YOUR MARRIAGE - Don't Overlook The Obvious |
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Help others find this article: Digg It! or Bookmark it! Share What Do They Want From Me? Somewhere in the life of a typical marriage, one or both of the spouses will say: “What is that they want of me? It seems that everything I say is wrong. Anything I do is wrong. We don't speak anymore, except, as necessary. We don't laugh. We don't make love. We aren't affectionate. We... And,
these spells last longer than should, in most instances. Mainly,
because the spouse avoids asking their partner what is
wrong, what can
be done to make things better, how
they can improve themselves as a husband or wife. And, yes, you have heard that conversation is important. But your spouse is not the communicative type. Or they are the type that once started, they never shut up or stop complaining. If your partner is the first sort of person, you do know that they communicate in different ways than perhaps verbal ones. Pay more attention to their 'signs' of displeasure or worry. - Perhaps, they have explained what they find fault with. Yet, you do not want to accept the criticisms. Be an adult! No one is perfect. They might simply be taking out their days' stress and frustrations out on you. They might not be able, from a practical standpoint, to confront their boss. Household stress, the children, in-laws/ siblings, finances. All could be playing a part in what is going on. Have you been responsive to their affection or sexual needs? Have you initiated either of these actions? If you don't wish to open a spigot by asking them directly to explain or re-explain what their issues are, then risk the consequences of not doing so. Or, be assertive and if they rant on and on, find a way to hold the conversation by focusing on one issue. And, not allowing digression. Always show that their concerns matter to you, whether or not you agree with them. - And, certainly, do not make this a 'tit-for-tat' exercise. Save your complaints for another time. (But not too far away in the distance.) You do have more control over your marriage's well-being and happiness than you probably imagine. So, use that power! And, make your daily (and nightly) life better! 'Nuff said!
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